Alleen voor vaandag.

34 días de una nueva manera de vida.

Dear Mom 2...

Querida Mami, Luisa, Madre....

Te hablo por tierras Holandesas, ya hace 18 meses que te fuiste, y aunque todavia no sea consciente, lo tengo aceptado. Ya no me pregunto si volverás, o por que te has ido, solo dejo que descanses en paz.. hoy hace frio por aquí, bueno, normal.. la verdad que podria ser peor.
Estas van a ser las segundas navidades en las que no estes, y aunque se haga raro, a todo se acostumbra un@...
Esto no quiere decir que te haya olvidado, solo que prefiero no pensarlo demasiado, tengo que seguir con mi vida ¿No? yo sé que tu lo habrías querido asi... pero tambien creo que no querías ser olvidada.

Empiezo a comprender muchas cosas de las que me hablabas, o que veía en ti, que durante toda mi vida no les prestaba atención..
Siento no haberte visitado en el cementerio, supongo que mis excusas son un signo de no querer afrontar la realidad, pero aun así te tengo muy presente.

Te quiero Muchisimo...... No sé que mas debo escribirte, aveces la mente se nos queda en blanco cuando no queremos exponer ciertas cosas...

Gracias por todo el aprendizaje que me has proporcionado,

Tu hija. 

,

Encontrarte dentro de mis sabanas, para asi poder entregarme a tus labios
y pensar, soñar y decir: ¿Que necesitas? ¿Que te gustaria que hiciesemos..?
Y que tu, con una sonrisa digas: Cualquier cosa para mi es un sueño realizado, 
Entonces yo.... me adentraba en tu ropa, la quitaba suavemente y contemplaba tu rostro, tu piel y tu cuerpo... Y entonces supe lo que era el amor, cuando vi tu cuerpo por primera vez, y cuando te vi dormir, calmado.. ahi supe que empezaria a sentir algo.. 

Dear Mom 2

To be continued.............

Times for ourselves.

Sometimes we just need time for ourselves.

Not always we want to be surrounded by people, or at least, that is my case.
There are days who I just want to stay home and read books, meditate and connect with myself.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
We are too afraid to be alone in this society, and being with our own being is the best way to get to know our fears, desires...ect. 
I definetly learned so much from this days..
I cried, I laughed, I stayed calm. . 
And this are the moments that I like the most.

CONIL

Took this pictures in Conil (Spain).. That was a magical night.. thank you!!!!!

June 13. Happiness itself

I am very happy in this moment. I have everything i want and need.
Life is shining itself.. and the sun is amazing. 
THANK YOU LIFE FOR THIS GIFT, FOR LETTING ME FEEL CALM AND EXCITED FOR ALL. . 

Grateful.

Almost one month since i wrote,wauw!
57 days clean.... So happy for that.
I see my life now, and last year.. I changed so much and my surroundings..
I'm happy finally. I can breathe. I see everything as an opportunity..
Thank you god for putting all the toxicity away !!!

Life changes.

Back in The hague!

I am back in the hague!
I am at the moment very positive, I started working and studying again and I am enjoying it..
THANKS LIFE FOR GIVING ME WHAT I NEED.

hugs <3.

5 January.

Hello my humble friends.

I'm drinking a cup of tea (I hated tea all my life, but I discovered one that I love and I'm glad about that.. and also it's raining..
WONDERFUL AND AMAZING RAIN.
I hope (I assume) everyone is having a good day.. and if not..
please smile, its free and useful for our mind and soul.

HUGS! but not one or two, loads!!!!

Letter for her. 17

Dearest Mom,

How are you? I'm fine, here in the Earth while you are in heaven..
Lots of things happened since you died, amazing right? Life can change in so many ways.
I got in my study degree, as you wanted.. I hope you are proud of that. I also learned that everything is for a reason, and it hurts me deeply but, I learned from your death.
I learned I should have cared more for you while you were alive, but well.. that is what people usually say when someone goes away.. But I mean it.
I miss you a lot actually, I wish you were here to see the woman I am becoming, even though I'm not perfect and I'm still making the most crazy and silly mistakes in the planet, like fighting with people that I love, that is one of the biggest actually.
But you know how I am, I am young and I don't know how to solve some of the stuff I deal with on my basis life.
Well, this letter is coming to end, BUT I have much much more things to tell you.. right now is enough, I think.

I love you deeply, Please say hi to Amy Winehouse and Jimi Hendrix.

Hugs,

your daughter.

Life

Life is such a wonderful place,
We have sun, we have water, we have LIGHT.
but...
What happens when we don't see this things?
What can we do?
We roll ourselves in our own shit trying to figure out what we need to make ourselves happy.
Is it money? or drugs? Or even a relationship..?

I tell you from experience. Non of this will make you happy. It is just a rebound to not focus on yourself.
Please, try and wake up, try and live, because.. life is too precious to waste.


Xxx